Hey there. This is my 7th week of writing blogs! I almost did not make it this week. I guess I didn’t have any “big and new thoughts” on my mind, just my usual ones. Since I have no real theme, let’s see where this blog takes us lol. My life has been moving just fine. I’ve taken the time to prioritize my main goal(s) and have been using the good old ‘trial and error’ on if those goals work or not. Maybe that’s another reason why people avoid working on themselves-it can be boring.

For my physical health goals, I’ve simply been putting my head down and doing the work that needs to be done. My first physical goal is to be in a calorie deficit. I’m in the range to have lost 8lbs since January 1st. I have made this a physical goal because I am training more consistently with jiu jitsu (my number two fitness goal) and want to have less belly when I am holding up in side guard and to have less of a chest area when completing leg locks. I have no idea if I would ever do a tournament. But just in case I do, I’d have to lose some pounds to be in certain weight classes and I’m not even remotely interested in doing some kind of crazy water cut or two week diet. My third fitness goal is to also lift 3x a week. For the past 4 weeks, I have done 3 BJJ classes and week and 3x lifting so ngl, I’m kind of crushing my physical goals. I took the time yesterday to eat more food because I’m getting more muscle cramps and didn’t sleep well for two nights. I am learning what I am willing to and not willing to sacrifice.

As far as my mental health goals, I don’t have any specific ones, yet. I have been contemplating on trying therapy again. I don’t have chronic anxiety, my depression symptoms have been non-existent, I might be thinking about therapy more because main stream social media bombarding with therapy reels and jokes that poke around therapy. That might be why I am thinking about it more. Last year, I think the trendy word was “trauma”. I never resonated with it so I never felt an attachment to the word. I think the trendy word this year is going to be “disassociate”. Now that I am hearing more information about that word, THAT is a word I can feel attachment to and immediately recognize moments in my life where I have and still currently do disassociate. I’m 99.9% sure that I will try therapy again in my life. I have a feeling it will be this year. However, I have no specific start date. I also think that I do not have any specific goals so that is why it is not a priority. On the other hand, I believe that I am in the right headspace to start this process. Last year, I was too strung out and sensitive to have any type of therapy. Now, I feel like i can emotionally handle diving into myself, to study my habits and patterns (good and bad), and to be honest with how I feel about myself.

For my emotional goals, I guess “technically” my goal would be to see family more. I have been seeing my husband’s family more which is great. I now how to figure out how to see my family more. My second goal would be to talk about myself more with people. Since hearing the word disassociate, I have learned that when I am getting to know people, I have had a habit on constantly listening to and talking about them that I forget to talk about myself. Like, literally don’t share anything with anyone. This is because I swung to the other side of the pendulum. For the first 20 years of my life, I talked only about myself. Then for the past 10 years, I wanted to learn and connect with people more and forgot to bring myself along. In my life, I have has issues with keeping friends. I have not really had a life long friend that I have known since elementary, middle or high school that I have successfully kept up with. I think this is why I switched to figuring out how to listen to people. This has ended up making me feel extremely lonely and insecure at times. It made me realize I don’t have many or any friends. I didn’t have any bridesmaids for my wedding because…well…I didn’t have anybody I felt comfortable asking or anyone there. It feels embarrassing and sad to admit that. These lessons have been really hard to learn. But now, I have learned the skills of being a good listener and I will now be practicing on how to talk about myself again in conversations.

The last goal category I think of it financial goals. I spent a LOT of money last year. A wedding, a new car, undergrad, grad school. While I still don’t have a set financial goal, the only thing I want to think about and be aware of is how much “extra” money I am spending in a month. In my planner, I am writing down any money that I spend on that day that is specifically outside of rent, electricity/wifi and gas. I am also trying to be stricter about making and sticking to a grocery list. I have always had a challenge with this one since I started buying groceries for myself. Maybe that will be my number one financial goals instead-”groceries”.

Turns out I had a lot to say. While it has not been a long time, this blog has been an incredible help to giving me a creative outlet and helping me organize and think through my thoughts. I probably would not be achieving my goals this month if I had not started this blog. I learned from Jordan Syatt from Syatt Fitness to start off with one goal. Achieve that goal and then add another. And another. Goals and habits must slowly build off of each other. That is how you end accomplishing and doing so many things. That is how you find yourself and a balance in your life. I’m not even close. But, I’m omw.

Kindly, Kat